Immortal
by Ykarzel
Summary: One would think that the only thing that could seperate Yami and Yugi forever would be death. But what if life could? Songfic to "My Immortal" by Evanescence. I would say enjoy, but it's sad...


Y/C/C: This is supposed to be a tear jerker. There's no sequel, nothing. It's a complete one shot. I usually can't write sad endings. According to my girlfriend, Shadowed Halo, and my other friend, Chels, it's not any good, but well, tell me what you think.

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Immortal

~My Immortal – Evanescence~

_//NO!// He shouted into the boy's mind. //Yugi don't let go!//_

/I'm trying. I- I… Yami…../

Yami held Yugi's bleeding figure delicately, sirens wailing in the distance. His mind searched frantically for something he could do, anything. 

He felt Yugi start to slip away from him. //No Yugi, no!// With one desperate attempt to save his dying love, Yami took over the boy's body, screaming as the pain hit him. He couldn't die; he was already dead. Yugi would survive. He had to survive. Yugi was his life, his entire existence.

But he was too late.

The presence of Yugi's mind was slowly fading. Their intertwining souls slowly unraveling. Yami screamed out in anguish, losing the feeling of their mental link, before he blacked out, mind forced into retreating by the physical pain. 

~ I'm so tired of being here ~

~ Suppressed by all my childish fears ~

Yami collapsed back onto the bed after a half-hearted attempt to sit up. This was going to be a day when he had no motivation to get out of bed, or shower, or eat, or move. None of it really mattered to him. Nothing mattered. 

He stared at a blank wall of Yugi's room. He hated this room. He would have left, if only to escape the images, but he couldn't. Part of him was afraid. Afraid that if he left the room in which his hikari grew up, he'd lose the rest of him.

In the back of his head, he knew it was irrational, but logic was unessential anymore. He'd lost his reason for existence, and now, logical or not, he desperately needed all he could get. It was a vain attempt to hold on to his slipping sanity. 

~ And if you have to leave ~

~ I wish that you would just leave ~

'I should have known. It's all my fault. I should have never taken over his body. If he had died, I would have gone with him. There's nothing wrong with death. It's all my fault. I was too focused on saving him. Instead, I saved his body. But his mind…' He took a moment to close his eyes and find the tiny line that connected him to Yugi's mind.

/-pushing- -reaching- -desperate- -determined- -alone-/

'His mind can't die because it's connected to mine. I've forced him to stay alive. And he's trying to get back to me. I've failed him. I failed to protect him. I lost him. It's my fault he still has to be here. Because I selfishly didn't want to lose him. It's all my fault.'

~ Because your presence still lingers here ~

~ And it won't leave me alone ~

_"He's trying to get back to me, Joey," Yami stated, looking down on the empty casket. There was no body to bury, because Yugi's body was essentially alive, merely inhabited by Yami's soul. "He can't fully die because his mind is connected to mine through the puzzle. He's caught in some sort of limbo, between life and death. I can still feel him, faintly. Our link is still there if I look hard enough. He still exists."_

"Yami," Joey said softly, placing a comforting hand on Yami's shoulder. "I'll pass, it's just denial."

~ These wounds won't seem to heal ~

~ This pain is just too real ~

~ There's just to much that time cannot erase ~

Yami lay quietly. Movement would break his concentration. The bond was so faint he needed work to be able to feel it. This was how he spent most of his days, working to get as close to his love as he could. The link was too weak to speak to each other anymore. All he could do was feel what Yugi was feeling.

/-reaching- -trying- -pushing- -pain- -desperation-/

Yami tried to focus on his love for his hikari. He had long since realized Yugi was able to sense his emotions and mental undertones too. 'I love you. Feel that I love you Yugi. Keep trying, come back to me. Please Aibou, come back. Please. I love you. Come back. I can still feel you, I still love you, know that I do.' He knew Yugi couldn't hear the thoughts, but he would feel some sort of reflection of them.

~ When you cried I'd wipe away your tears ~

~ When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears ~

~ And I held your hand through all these years ~

~ But you still have all of me ~

In reaction to Yami, Yugi's message changed slightly. /-love- -undying love- -alone- -pain- -reaching- -love- -trying-/

It was all he could to. Yami's sole purpose in life was to protect his light, make it better, but this time, he could do nothing. He could only sit and wait, while his love reached out for him, hoping against hope that he somehow made it back, somehow strengthened the bond. What they used to take for granted would mean salvation. Just to be able to hear his mental voice, make the bond just a little closer, would have helped.

~ You used to captivate me ~

~ By your resonating light ~

Memories were still crystal clear, painfully so. Perhaps it was the remnant of the bond that kept them fresh, or maybe it was just that Yami's life hand not consisted of anything since Yugi had left. The memories would play over and over in Yami's head, making him feel like if he just reached out far enough, he would be able to touch his hikari once more. Or maybe it was the bond that made him feel that way. 

He could still see Yugi, sitting cross-legged on the bed, bright eyes shining as he told a story about something that had happened earlier that day. His soft features, golden voice.

He could still see him, beads of sweat quickly cooling and drying as he curled up on top of Yami, exhausted. Hear his slowing breaths, feel the comforting weight upon him.

He could still Yugi whisper 'I love you' softly before sleep claimed him. Remembered the overwhelming amount of love that would filter across their link, echoing the statement.

But as soon as he opened his eyes the images would fade, and the sounds would prove to just be the wind. And Yami would be left alone physically, and haunted mentally.

~ But now I'm bound by the life you left behind ~

~ Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams ~

~ Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me ~

_Yami banged hard on Joey's front door, not stopping until the sleepy eyed blonde opened it with a yawn. "Yami, it's three in the morning. What is-" he cut his own words off with a jerk when Yami held up his arm. "Oh my God." _

He had violently slashed open his wrist, leaving pieces of skin hanging that were concealed in the vast about of blood that was rushing out of the open wound. It was everywhere.

"I can't die," Yami whispered.

"What the fuck? Yami, you need to get to the hospital!"

Yami shook his head calmly Joey didn't understand. His eyes were insanely bright in the light of the dim lamp. "I can't die, Joey. I've already died. I can't die again. Ever. I can't ever die. I will live forever. I can't die. I CAN'T DIE!" He fell against the blonde, reduced to shouted words between sobs. "I'm going to live for all eternity, WITHOUT HIM!" He choked on a mix of tears and blood, losing all words.

Joey was trying to comprehend, thoughts hazy through his sleep clouded mind. "Yami, you have to move on. He would have wanted you to move on."

"How can I move on when he's still here! He's still with me. I can't die, and neither can he! We can never be together, and we can never part. I can't move on, it would torture him!" He sobbed hopelessly against Joey, who held him quietly. He really didn't understand what Yami was trying to tell him. But he was starting to understand, as the blood between them soaked into their clothes, what Yami meant when he said he couldn't die. And the idea made him sick.

"All I have is memories, forever," Yami whispered harshly.

~ These wounds won't seem to heal ~

~ This pain is just to real ~

~ There's just to much that time cannot erase ~

~ When you cried I'd wipe away your tears ~

~ When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears ~

~ And I've held your hand through all these years ~

~ And you still have all of me ~

Yami jerked violently up into a sitting position. His muscles complained, that having been the most they'd moved in a few weeks, but he didn't notice. He'd lost most of his connection to himself in a physical sense. He was trying to let this body he was cursed with fade away, but nothing worked.

Something inside him broke.

Perhaps it was faith. Perhaps it was hope. But Yugi was never going to make it back, no matter how hard he was trying. It wasn't going to work. His hikari was never going to reach him. He gave up.

/-anguish- -overwhelming despair- -utter heartbreak-/

Yugi, wherever he was, understood too. He stopped reaching, stop trying to get back to Yami. 

For the first time since he had discovered what was left of the link, Yami closed himself off from it. He blocked himself from Yugi. 

He climbed out of bed, and dialed a familiar phone number.

~ I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone ~

~ And though you're still with me ~

~ I've been alone all along ~

Yami stood beside the uncovered grave, Joey faithfully by him. "Are you sure about this?" the blonde asked tentatively. 

A glance over his shoulder was all the answer his best friend needed. He had to do this. What else could he do?

Abruptly, Joey wrapped Yami in a hug from behind. "Hell, Yami, I'm going to miss you. I'm trying to understand, I am. I know that you're in your own hell but, I don't think I ever be able to comprehend..." he faded away, his voice cracking. For the first time since the day Yugi had died, Joey cried.

Yami turned around and hugged him back, crying onto his shoulder for the last time. They held each other tightly. No more words passed between them. Words made it too difficult. For Joey, words made it too real.

Yami was the first to pull away. He couldn't do this anymore. He had to end it all, and this was the only way he could.

Yami crawled down into the hole, opening the coffin that was beginning to rot from its years already underground. How long had it been since Yugi had died? He didn't know, days, week, and months all blurred together in his mind. He laid himself down in the coffin, and let the lid slam shut. He heard the dirt start to hit the lid, and closed his eyes.

With his mind, he let go of his cursed body. He devoted everything to the faint link he hadn't read since the night he stopped dreaming, unblocking himself from Yugi.

/-Surprise- -anger- -forgiveness- -relief- -agony- -suffering- -love-/

Yami had expected as much. But he would never block him again. Now, there was nothing else. There was only Yugi. Here, but not quite. And there he would remain forever, reaching out as hard as he could to his love, never to get closer.

Y/C/C: So, how bad was it? Lemme know. Review.


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